"That's a scary mask bro!"

HALLOWEEN IS TOMORROW! I sure do love halloween, the candy the scariness, the costumes. It really blows that it's on a monday but oh well! this year I have decided to dress up as a unicorn if anyone cares because that's just my style. As for my Halloween plans who knows...I would love to continue to go trick or treating but old people are a bunch of grumpers when it comes to the youthful teens trying to get free candy...jealous bitches...

But anyways, today as I procrastinate my homework I decided to make up a little quiz so everyone could find out their halloween persona...So if your curious take it and find out!

1. When Halloween rolls around you are most excited for...

a) nothing

b) free candy

c) whorish costume

d) scaring people

2. Your favorite Halloween candy is...

a) old people mints

b) the kind that are made of pure sugar

c) slut candy

d) candy that children like

3. What costume would you most likely choose to wear...

a) dress up as yourself because you are lazy and lack creativity

b) a fairy princess, ghost, witch

c) something you bought at a sketchy stripper store with some sort of animal ears

d) trench coat and weird guy mustache

4. On Halloween what do your plans consist of?

a) sitting on the couch watching reruns of Lost

b) trick or treating until the wee hours of the night

c) working the corner

d) parking your van by a busy neighborhood offering candy to children

5. What will the morning after Halloween look like for you?

a) you will have toast for breakfast

b) you will have crashed after a 4 hour sugar high

c) you are pregnant

d) you are in handcuffs in jail

6. What word describes you most

a) wallflower

b) youthful

c) trannywhore

d) pedophile

OK! Now calculate your answers!

MOSTLY A's:

You are a very boring person. Halloween means absolutely nothing to you. You probably have no friends. On weekends you can be found playing mario kart...by yourself. You probably enjoy things like jigsaw puzzles and playing on farmville. You lack creativity and probably smell a little bit. You should probably take a little bit of advice from the Mostly B's and C's people because they usually have a good time. Don't worry though, even though you live a lifeless life of dull monotony your cats still love you!

MOSTLY B's:

You are a child at heart and have not grown up. You love halloween for the trick or treating, scary movies and free candy. You still have a youthful vibrance for life that is often loss in age. You enjoy the fun times in life. You probably love to play video games and steal all the cookies when your mom bakes them. So rock on you who is young...but keep in mind...if you are 30 reading this with joy and excitement......go get a fucking job and get out of your mothers basement.

MOSTLY C's:

HALLOWEEN WHORE! You are a Halloween slut and enjoy all things hoeish involved with halloween. As Mean Girls said it "In Girl World, Halloween is the one day a year when a girl can dress up like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it." You take full advantage of this and wear as little clothing as you can. You probably debated between dressing up as naughty nurse or a naughty nun. Maybe you just wore lingerie and cat ears. There are two of your kind...there is the normal girl who just uses this day to dress a little more provocative that usual then there is the everyday slut who uses this day to become a mega slut. The mega sluts usually end their halloween with a new disease or a possible pregnancy. Either way she probably had a good time but probably doesn't remember that. Halloween sluts unite!

MOSTLY D's:

You are a pedophile. Halloween is only good for you because children ring your doorbell and you can offer them candy without being arrested. You probably have a creepy looking beard and probably smell funny. You may or may not drive a creeper van with tinted windows. People are just generally creeped out by you and your creepy balding combover. So please, on Halloween and everyday, leave the children alone they are so innocent. Go hit on the Halloween sluts they don't really know whats going on anyways. :P

So I hope you enjoyed that quiz and got out of it a new found view of yourself. bahaha. I wish you a happy Halloween filled with candy, whores and no pedos! Party while you're still young!

Have a Spooktactular day!

Post Secondary Plans...

OhMaGawd! Umm yeah, so I think it's pretty clear that my blog has been pushed to the back burner in my life. The school paper people sent me a sheet to fill out about it and I felt like a jerk since I NEVER write on it and it could possible be in the paper....

So what in the world have I been up to since fricken SEPTEMBER?! ....well...uhhhh...all I can really think of is school stuff (homework, college apps, books, presentations, finals, ect.) which is not only LAME but SAD! So because I am a horrible blogger, I am taking precious time away from the 400 pages I'm supposed to have finished tomorrow of Dracula (thank god for spark notes) and writing!

Well, today Terrible Tuesday started out with a college fair...

Imma get real with you and let you know what I think about this whole planning for your future thing...I think that the whole idea is...SCARY, LONG, TIME CONSUMING, SAD, IMPOSSIBLE, FRUSTRATING, AND DID I SAY SCARY?!

I'm beyond intimidated by the whole process and if this were psychology and we were determining between the fight or flight response, you could say I'd choose flight.

So instead of using my time wisely and getting some of that crap done...I decided to compose a list of possible futures where I could have a solid living WITHOUT a college education.

1. Gypsy: I can look like a dirty hobo and do weird things like dance around, wear big hoop earrings, travel everywhere, and have a bunch of dirty hobo kids...oh and everyone can come look into my crystal ball! ...As for money...we keep that on the DL

2. Drug dealer: ...not the most respected career out there and pretty sketchy...but I am pretty hood so I think I could make some good cash...maybe...

3. Extreme Couponer: These people the craziest mofos alive but they have a SHIT TON of food and random crap. I could spend all of my time cutting coupons and then get like 9 carts full of food and pay ten bucks. And for the downers out there wondering where I'll get the money for the coupons and food...(see number 2 bahahaha)

I'll get a business card...McKenzie Phelps: Drug Dealer and part time Extreme Couponer

4. Nomad: I will simply live off the land. I will find myself a big expanse of woods and from there I will hunt, grow, and wander. (Note to self: must learn how to start a fire, kill and animal and make my own shelter) Pocahontas did it so it can't be that hard?...where the hell is John Smith when you need him?

5. GoldDigger: All I gotta do is bleach my hair, get breast implants, and lose all sense of morals...then its time to find the wrinkliest billionaire and pretend that I don't have to sleep with a man older than my dad...EWWWWWWWWW

6. McDonalds: While this one sucks it sure does have winning qualities. I would have to get used to acne, minimum wage, and constantly smelling like a greasy, fatass tub of lard...BUT I bet I would get a pretty good discount on food and c'mon now who doesn't love clogging their arteries? Ohh maybe I could even get promoted to fry cook...

So that's that....

Some of them have their setbacks and some of them aren't very stable in this economic downfall, but I bet I could make at least one of them work....

In the meantime...I should probably go do homework JUST IN CASE that I can't learn how to hunt or my boobs don't grow...

To all my fellow peers out there in the same predicament I wish I had any wise words of advice but I don't. I wish you all luck though.

and when in doubt remember,

Life's a Slice of Cherry Pie.

let's have fun while we're still young