Woaahhh, where has the time gone?! July is winding down and soon it will be August and August means college! Agghh! Still insanely nervous but at the same time I am getting a teeny bit excited. The fun dorm stuff is getting bought and the textbooks are coming in the mail! Call me crazy but I'm excited to start learning again. That sounds so lame but my brain is starting to feel like a bum and it needs some new knowledge. At the same time, I really am not looking forward to summer coming to an end. I've been doing so much crafting and baking this summer it feels like I should have a craft or food blog, but then I remember how nobody reads this anyways so what does it matter? Haha!

BUT I have made an incredible realization this summer...

I LOVE EXERCISE!

Say wahhhh???!!!

Let me take you back a year in my life to help you understand.

I've always wanted to be the person who exercised, sweat, and kicked ass but that is certainly harder said than done. I exercised on and off but I never really committed. Worse than that is I had NO self motivation. If someone wasn't dragging me to the gym there's a good chance I wasn't going. But I started running with a little help from my boyfriend, Brennan, and my friend, Andrew. They ran everyday after school and I joined them because I was having trouble finding a girlfriend who was willing and able to work out with me on a daily basis. Even better, Brennan was kind of a hard-ass tyrant (in a good way) on getting you started (which was EXACTLY what I needed). At that point running became a habit, but I still wasn't entirely into it. I did an easy, SLOW, mile or two and called it good. Soon it became summer and due to schedule differences the three of us running together fell apart. Suddenly I was left to fend for myself, and crazy enough, I DID IT! I had enough motivation to get my lazy ass out of bed every morning and do my mileage, and I just kept going! And now, I'm not only going farther than I ever have before but I'm pushing myself to new limits! AND I ENJOY IT (in a weird, sick, hurts like hell, twisted kind of way)! IT'S SO WEIRD!

I know this is an odd thing to post about but I am incredibly proud of myself. And even better, through all of this my outlook on myself has completely changed. I feel so much better about myself, and it's not because I've dropped tons of weight and I look like a playboy bunny (because I haven't, and I don't), but just because I feel like I'm capable of so much more than I allowed myself to think. I look in the mirror and instead of pointing out my insecurities I see a BAMF who's ready to kick ass. I never thought getting into running would be something I'd like, but I'm really glad I tried it! I'm no marathon runner and I'm still pretty slow, but for me, I've accomplished a lot. I feel like I've grown so much and my confidence in myself is growing as well. If I can take on this, what else can I take on? College? Growing up? (Ok, well maybe not the last one) But still, I feel like If I can do this, what can't I do?! It's a good feeling....

So for all you out there reading this (good joke right?!), I hope you have a great day, and if getting into shape is something you're thinking about trying, I say go for it! Worst thing that can happen is you'll actually enjoy it! *shudders*

Damn this blog sure needed some positivity...

Farewell, 

Life is a slice of kick ass, rockstar woman cherry pie! 

Growing up isn't as fun as Disney Channel made it seem...

Um, wow. So here comes the forgotten blog arising from the ashes like a majestic phoenix! Yes, I am completely embarrassed of myself that this blog has become like most things in my life: A project I start and then forget about. No, I take it back it's not that I forgot about the blog it's just that since december it seemed like my life was running away and I was on a constant sprint trying to catch up with it. But now, here I am...laying around like a lazy bum on a summer afternoon, thinking that it's time I finally get back to this blog...

And now folks, I will tell you of the epic adventures of my life since December.

(Oh and by the way, I found out a little after my last post that adults occasionally read this, and then I was insanely embarrassed at my "creative language" sooo I am trying to tone it down...even though I'm all big and graduated so I suppose I can say all the shit I want...oops I already failed)

Anyways...

The months of January-March were a whirlwind of working on State Fair the FHS musical production. My character was a whore (typical) who basically wanted to flash her cha cha to the world. Okay that was an exaggeration but I still had a great time and it was a wild experience that will stay with me forever. After that it became the race to find the motivation to A. apply for scholarships B. make it to prom/graduation C. Not became a suicide bomber in Spanish class and D. give a flying fuck about school . All three were VERY difficult and the only ones I accomplished were B and kind of A and C (I didn't actually murder anyone if thats what you were wondering). Prom was great and lots of fun. Then somewhere in the months of my absence I decided on USD as my new home next fall. And then May came around and I became the most hormonal, unstable emotional wreck of a woman....here's my tale of my graduation woes. 

Thoughts that constantly cycled through my mind as graduation approached:

1. I CAN'T DO THIS, I CAN'T DO THIS, I CAN'T DO THIS

2. If I don't get out of this shit hole FHS I will kill someone.

3. I'm going to die in college.

4. I'M NOT GOING TO COLLEGE I'M STAYING HIGH SCHOOL FOREVER!

5. Let's just drop out, who cares?

6. What if we road trip for a year in a van?!

7. I USED THIS LUNCHBOX FOR FOUR YEARS! *uncontrollable sobs*

8. This is the last time I'll ever (insert pointless event that nobody really cares if they never do again)

9. I HATE SPANISH, NO ME GUSTA!

10. I'M GONNA THROW UP OR NERVOUS POOP!

So as you can tell, I was more than confused on what I wanted (and completely insane)...I needed to be done with high school but at the same time I didn't want to let any of it go. It's such a strange thought to know I'll never sing in the FHS choir again, or I'll never sit in the band hallway before school starts, dreading the moment when those three obnoxious warning bells go off. The more I think about it, it's like I loved and craved everything in high school that I dreaded and complained about. Looking back on those long musical practices that I just wanted to die, or the band rehearsals that seemed like they'd NEVER end have become the fondest memories from high school. It's the little things like that that summed up my high school experience, not the big walk across the stage and get your diploma (which I thought was anticlimactic, just so you know). I have made some great memories with the coolest people and It's crazy to think things are going to change. I'm absolutely beyond terrified for college (to the point where I am dreading August 25 which is move in day) and let's just hope I can make it. But at the moment I'm trying to not think about college (to avoid a breakdown) and just enjoy summer. School went faster than I expected now it's time I start a new chapter in my life (whether I want to or not). So now that I can check high school off my list...it's time for the next step...COLLEGE (dun dun dunnnn) so saddle up your ponies and lets rock this bitch! :D

So saying goodbye to you now is a fresh FHS alumni who is desperately trying to think positively about the future. Even though I'm scared I can still say that Life's A Slice of Cherry Pie...

Stay Classy Fremont